Weary in my well doing...

I have not written a blog in over a month now, and that is not good. I am writing this blog in the middle of the night with an uneasy mind and weary in my well doing. Since the last time I have blogged, I have done 2 auditions. I have one more audition on Monday. My 2 auditions went really well. I have gone in with no fear of the high note, and put my all into these auditions, and I feel really good about how they went. I have not heard from anybody that I have auditioned for and it worries me. The one that I did Tuesday said that we would hear back by yesterday, and that has now passed. So, here I am in the middle of the night trying to figure out what it is that has me being overlooked. I know that I have got the chops, and anybody around the city can vouch for that. I sing for all of these groups that I am one of the best then, but when I try to further my career in the professional realm, something seems to be wrong. I know that singers are told no, more than they are told yes, but that is not easy to deal with. Singing is a very personal thing because the voice is part of me. I begin to wonder has it all been in vain? Should I get a real job and put my singing on the backburner? I don’t really feel comfortable putting my feelings out there like that because I always exude confidence when it comes to the Melodious Tones, but we all have our low points. I have a supportive group of people that help me along my journey, and I guess I am just in need of a little encouragement. I do believe that the Lord didn’t bring me this far, just to leave me, but I can’t say that I don’t feel no ways tired.

I’ll end this blog with one of Shirley Caesar’s classics:

You’re Next in Line for a Miracle

Have you ever walked with the Lord all night long,
wondering how you were going to pay your bills?
And a still small voice says, "be strong",
"sometimes struggle is my will".

And they were late, I'm always all time,
get ready for your miracle, move to the front of the line;
today is your day, you're next in line for a miracle".

A miracle, the Holy Ghost said, "it's your miracle"
you're next in line for your miracle.

Chorus:
You're next in line for a miracle,
your breakthrough.

You're next in line for a miracle,
you have kept the faith,
today is your day for a miracle.

Vamp 1:
Today is your day.

Vamp 2:
Today is your day;
take it by faith, take it by faith.

Ending:
Today is your day for a miracle.

He that overcometh shall inherit all things!

I am sitting at work finished working for the day, so I decided to write a blog. I guess this blog should include the ups and downs of my journey, so I will have both in this blog. I have done two auditions since my last blog. They were both on the same day, and I just was not in good voice for a couple of days prior leading up to that day. I didn't sound bad, but it wasn't my best. I was a little down after that, but I received some feedback from the judges, and I took it to my coach. I had a coaching on yesterday, and I felt so good after leaving, because I finally overcame by battle with the high note! That is one of the things that I have been trying to conquer for a long time. I have come a long way, and yesterday I felt like I made it, and a burden has been lifted. I was going in to my lesson kind of down trodden because of what happened, and my coach said that he was thinking of me earlier in the day, and how he wants to work with me on my high notes. I knew then that the Lord put in his spirit what was troubling me, and he was given the right words so that I can understand what to do.

Today I was cleaning out my junk mail folder and I almost deleted a very important e-mail. Apparently, I had been granted an audition to one of the top Young Artist Programs and I hadn't confirmed my audition. They have had it posted on their website for I don't know how long, and they sent an e-mail to say that it was the last day to confirm. I am so glad the Lord had me look over those e-mails because I would have been devastated. I am excited about this audition, and I am sending off another application today. I'll end this blog with the words to the song "He that overcometh"

HE THAT OVERCOMETH, SHALL INHERIT ALL THINGS
HE THAT OVERCOMETH, SHALL INHERIT ALL THINGS
WITH THE HELP OF THE LORD, YOU CAN MAKE IT
HE THAT OVERCOMETH, HE THAT OVERCOMETH, HE THAT OVERCOMETH,
HE THAT OVERCOMETH, SHALL INHERIT ALL THINGS

I'LL SHOW YOU A MYSTERY, WE SHALL NOT ALL SLEEP
BUT WE SHALL ALL BE CHANGED IN A TWINKLING OF AN EYE
THE TRUMPET SHALL SOUND, AND THE DEAD IN CHRIST SHALL RISE
AND WE, WHO ARE ALIVE AND REMAIN ARE GOING TO MEET HIM IN THE SKY
HE THAT OVERCOMETH

Use Me

I just wanted to give a quick update about YAPs. I have sent off 3, and heard back from 1 so far. I have been wait listed, but that is much better than being told no. I am going to remain optimistic about it. I still have more YAPs that I will be applying to, so stay tuned with that. I also applied to a very well known competition, and I have been chosen to compete. I wish I would have had more notice as to the particulars for this competition sooner, but i am excited to haven been chosen. The competition is next Saturday, so I am really going to have to buckle down the next couple of days and make sure I have everything on point. One of my friends told me something that I think I will share. He read that Roland Hayes would pray before he sang that the Lord would remove himself, so that he can be used by the Lord. I am really taking that to heart. I have heard that many times by preachers, but never by a singer. I have to remove myself from the performance, so nerves, anxiety, fear, or whatever else won't be part of the scenario. If I remove myself and concentrate on the music then everything will run smoothly. I already knew that, but it was a great reminder, and I will be including that in my prayers each time before I sing. Turn to your neighbor and say "Let the Lord use you" lol. On a side note, I am still living in the high of my church choir concert 2 weeks ago. It was the best concert I have put on so far. I am extremely grateful to have good friends that love and support my endeavors rather its musically, emotionally, physically, or whatever. I will end this blog with lyrics to the song "Use Me." "If you can use anything Lord, you can use me. If you can use anything Lord, you can use me. Take my hands Lord, and my feet. Touch my heart Lord and speak through me. If you can use anything Lord, you can use me!"

My first App!

I finally got my first app off a few days ago, and the check has already been cashed. I don't hear back from them until mid-October though. I went through a lot of drama to get everything I needed to include with the application. I almost gave up, but I received some encouraging words, and was able to send it off in time. I am not going to go into all of the details, but I will say that I will not be getting my pictures printed at Walgreens again! Thank God for having a flexible job, because without it I would not have been able to complete everything I needed to do. On a good note I have my edited CD, and it sounds great! I am really excited about that! I have some great repertoire, and when I figure out how to put the mp3 on here, I will! This is a fairly short blog, just wanted to give an update.

Ram in the bush

I have really taken the bull by the horn with these YAPs. I admit that procrastination has taken over a little, but not too much! Tomorrow I will be recording my audition CD to send off to the YAPs that request them. I have worked really hard on this music, so I know recording them will be a breeze. It has been kind of rough finding someone that could accompany me who's schedule matched mine, but the Lord will send a ram in a bush. I had met someone that was really excited to collaborate with me, but our schedules just didn't work out for this project. I am sure we will have more opportunities to work together in the future though. He is a great pianist and I look forward to working with him. I was starting to get worried when I found out he couldn't do it before the deadline because I didn't have a backup plan, but the Lord will make a way! One of my friends roommate is going to play the piano and record the CD. Don't tell me what my God won't do! He is a great accompanist as well, and I know I have nothing to worry about. There is nothing worse than having to sing and be worried about your accompanist. Hopefully we will only have to do the songs once because this isn't easy singing I'm doing lol. I will be sure to post clips once I get them!

Coachings..

Yesterday I had my biweekly vocal coaching with Giulio Favario. He is an amazing coach and I am so blessed that he was willing to continue to work with me after I completed my Master's Degree at CCPA. Giulio has been all over and he retired from the Ryan Center (Young Artist Program at Lyric Opera), and he was the chorus master at Lyric Opera of Chicago. It feels really good to have someone like him supporting me, and helping me to grow into a great opera singer. Yesterday I had a really good lesson. He said something to me that really clicked, and from then on he kept stopping to tell me how good I was, instead of pointing out a mistake! It felt so good to see him so excited about what I was producing, and he was very happy to see how much I have grown since we have been working together. I shouldn't share this, but it is my testimony. He told me when we first started working together in 2008 that he thought I had a nice voice, but it wasn't cut out for the stage, but now he can see me on any stage. I told him I am glad he is brutally honest with me. Him saying that to me makes me feel like all of my hard work has not gone to waste. I have grown so much and have become more confident in the things that I was lacking confidence in before. I have been given a new zest for practicing and learning my music so that I can go even further than I ever imagined. Things are really coming together for my singing career. God has been preparing me for something great, and I am glad that he is with me on this journey.

Nay Sayers...

Ok, it's been too long since I have written a blog. I definitely have to do a better job. This morning on my way to work I was talking with a close friend and we were discussing what I plan on doing next. He asked me have I been offered any other positions when I told him I was headed to work. This is my 5th year at the school, and I like it here. I told him that I was offered two positions, but I didn't want either one of them. If I was to take a promotion that means I would be working a 9 to 5, and not able to leave when I need to for when I have auditions. It also will take my practice time away. I also explained to him that I don't want somebody to recommend me for a position that I only work for a year. That wouldn't be the right thing to do in my opinion. Then he went on about how he has never heard of the Young Artist Programs, and where do I get this information from. I told him that he doesn't know about it because he doesn't aspire to become an opera singer. He then made commentary about how much it is paying, and how I should be working and making real money at this point, and that's what he would be doing. Now this person teaches music and doesn't like it! It seems like he would be more supportive of me taking this leap of faith and doing what I have to do to become a professional opera singer. I have worked very hard, and it troubles me that people can be such nay sayers about what I do. He asked what does my mother think about this, and I told him that she supports me in everything I do. We have been friends for many years and have been sharing are trials and triumphs of our musical journeys and life. I just do not like people speaking on things that they know nothing about. This is my dream and I feel that my friends should be there to support me for not only having goals, but working towards them. Sorry for my rant, but I figured this would be a good place to do it.

Young Artist Programs

The next big step of my operatic career is vastly approaching. I have completed my two degrees, now it's time to participate in Young Artist Programs. I missed 2 years of application seasons already, and I refuse to sit back and let that happen again. I have some important decisions to make, and I am beginning to feel overwhelmed without even sending my first application. There are a lot of things to consider when choosing the right program, i.e., what to sing, fees, recommendations, housing, travel, stipend, roles, longevity and recognition of program, how long participation is required, etc... I have been working hard with a well known Opera Coach, so I feel prepared for what may come my way. This is a big step for me, and I am feeling nervous. I know that my career is most important, but there are some things I am worried about leaving behind such as, my Minister of Music and Assistant Conductor positions. I hate to leave my steady job, but I have to pursue what I really want. I know the Lord has brought me this far, and will continue to lead and guide me until Brandon Brown "Melodious Tones" becomes a household name!

Melodious Tones: The Life and Journey

Hello Everyone! I can't believe I am starting a new blog after about a 5 year hiatus. I don't know how long this one will last, but we will see what happens. Blogging was a good outlet for me during my undergrad years, but I am going to try something different this time. In this blog I am going to discuss the Life and Journey of me becoming a Professional Singer, and probably some other things that I may feel worth blogging about at the time. I feel like I just wrote a thesis statement lol. I need to get the cobwebs off my blogging capability lol. Well that's it for now. I'll be checking back in soon!